Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People At Work: Without Using Weapons Or Duct Tape

Chapter 4. The Zipper Lip

Take I: How They Sound

Sally was at it again—not contributing to the team brainstorming meeting. Jim, the team leader, was tired of Sally's lack of participation and concerned because she didn't seem to be carrying her weight. The entire company was working with limited resources, including minimal staffing numbers, so they needed every single member of the team to commit, communicate, and share their expertise. Sally had become deadweight and a real pain to the team members who counted on her.

Names Will Never Hurt Me

People like Sally are also known as clams, tight lips, cautious thinkers, madly mysterious individuals, or verbal anorexics. They fail to share their knowledge, opinions, or ideas. By failing to contribute, they become a drag on any work group.

What to Look For

Rarely does the Zipper Lip give good eye contact. Their stance is one of cocooning, including closed body language and typically poor posture. They use escape behavior—"I don't know" is their way to avoid involvement. Single-word responses like "yes" or "no," or just a grunt, are typical of the way they choose to communicate. Their total silence and the little facial animation they show in reaction to others' comments or questions usually heighten the level of frustration for everyone who has to work with them. The difficulty arises because others have no idea what they are thinking. Do they fear making a mistake? Are they trying to be mysterious on purpose to create a sense of power? Does ...