Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People At Work: Without Using Weapons Or Duct Tape

Chapter 16. Ruffled Feathers

Ruffle

1. To bother or fluster somebody.

2. To act as a source of irritation or annoyance.

Most of us can recall times when people ruffled our feathers, upset us, or ticked us off. But why do some people never get bothered, upset, or bent out of shape? They have learned to apply conflict management skills when events could otherwise make them distressed.

If a veterinarian sees a bird with ruffled feathers, the vet knows something is wrong and the bird needs care. As human beings, studies now reveal that anger and conflict release a toxic hormone, cortisol, into our systems (see Chapter 15). If this is not managed, you can become seriously ill; you can even die. Read on to learn specific ways to use Toxic People survival skills when conflict is in the roost. There is no reason to feel caged!

Caged?

Hello Marsha,

I met you at a conference and I thoroughly enjoyed your presentation. I am in a predicament of sorts. My office leader is a woman who is in her 60s and is a fast-paced worker. She is not business savvy yet she is good at her job. However, she mumbles and isn't clear with her instructions.

When I make a mistake, or am one in the chain of people who have made a mistake, she constantly reminds me of that, even in front of my boss. Having human relations training, I know this practice only serves to cause divisions in the workplace.

I also need to approach my boss about making necessary changes. Under this woman's leadership, or lack thereof, everything is very ...