Chapter 17. Internet Connection Mayhem

It truly is a miracle that your computer manages to use the Internet at all. First, there's the connection. Then comes the transfer of information. And finally, there's the way the computer deals with that information. It's very complex — not merely Rubik's cube complex, but more like your-brain-is-about-to-explode complex. I hear that the manual that describes how Internet connections really work is too thick for a human to read. The post office won't even ship the thing without applying the extra Dangerous Knowledge fee.

Good news for you: You don't have to understand one bit about how the Internet manages information. Nope! That's because I've done it for you. I survived. Sure, I had to have them implant a third eye, but cosmetically, it enhances my face. And the government paid for it. So enjoy this chapter, which offers words soothing and solutions simple for Internet connection worries and woes.

A Sampling of the Zillions of Potential Problems with a Dialup Connection

It's supposed to work like this: You start an Internet program, and your computer automatically connects to the Internet and dishes up whatever data it is you're requesting: a Web page, some e-mail, a file — whatever.

This section, presented in a somewhat logical order, describes the things that can go wrong, or may go wrong, with the Internet connection. Please note that these issues deal with dialup Internet connections only. You know dialup: It puts the dumb into modem.

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