Have you ever worked or dined in a restaurant that has a swinging door in and out of the kitchen? Have you ever pushed (or watched someone push) on that door when another body is trying to get through from the other direction? What happens?
You push, they push, and nobody gets through.
There's only one way to understand the other person's story, and that's by being curious. Instead of asking yourself, ‘How can they think that?!’ ask yourself, ‘I wonder what information they have that I don't?’ Instead of asking, ‘How can they be so irrational?’ ask, ‘How might they see the world such that their view makes sense?’ Certainty locks us out of their story; curiosity lets us in.
—Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, ...