Unequaled

CHAPTER IWHAT IS THERE OTHER THAN BRAINS AND HARD WORK?

Have you ever wondered if you are your firm's best-kept secret? Do you wonder if brains and hard work are enough for you to succeed and get ahead at your firm?

When I started as an investment banker in 1974, I believed that brains and hard work were what got me a position at Morgan Stanley. On the first day of work, it took me about 10 minutes to realize that the woman to my right was smarter than I was and the man to my left was working harder than I was. I thought, “Oh no—there is no way I am smarter than that woman, and I can't work at that guy's pace. I might be toast.”

I concluded that there must be something else to distinguish beyond the brains and hard work that got me (and everyone else) the job. The emotional intelligence quotient, or EQ, card was the only and the best that I could play.

I learned about EQ both by being part of a big family and by working with really bright people in the Navy. I grew up in a family of 10 children in Sparta, Wisconsin. I quickly learned how to listen. I became adaptable by relating to my siblings, who were different ages and had different interests. My parents were schoolteachers as young adults. They each taught eight grades in one-room country schoolhouses in rural Wisconsin. My parents taught us to work as a team to get things done in our home.

After graduating from Marquette University, I joined the U.S. Navy and served as an officer for five years on the nuclear energy staff ...