Feelings are much like waves: we can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf.
I define elicitation as the act of getting information from someone without asking for it directly. This doesn't mean you don't ask questions, and it doesn't mean you don't ask for information. Military and intel folks, living acronyms, often joke about “ASKINT”—Ask Intelligence: “If you ask them, they will tell you!” It's all about how you ask about or around the issue. It means you employ techniques to gather this information from people. I usually refer to the techniques in Robin Dreeke's book It's Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone. In that book, Dreeke outlines 10 principles for building rapport with anyone; these are the keys to elicitation: