Unwavering

CHAPTER 5The Push‐Pull of Personal and Professional Demands

Life happens, and in many cases we are required to accept the setbacks and continuously step forward while acknowledging unwelcome pauses. No matter how hard we try to keep them separate, the challenges of our personal lives often permeate into our work lives. I keep the heaviness in my life in a tight vault where only a very select few have access. Within my culture, there is a fear about being perceived as weak. Showing any weakness is believed to open the door for others to seize those moments and position us at a disadvantage. For communities of color, there is no room for error, so we often keep that vault shut and move forward without the help we otherwise benefit from.

I always planned and positioned myself for the milestones I aspired to achieve. But in that planning, I did not include or foresee divorce, single parenting, illness, or the loss of a loved one as events that would abruptly halt my pace throughout my journey. I also never planned for the impact and disruption that a global pandemic brings. I did not include the level of emotional energy it takes to fully show up professionally, when personally there is internal turmoil and pain.

For me, the lessons I learned along the way have been invaluable. We each handle our challenges differently, but I have found a familiarity when talking to women of color. We constantly put forth this façade of strength even when feeling turmoil inside. We pressure ourselves ...