Use Your Difference to Make a Difference

20Practice the “Yes, And”

Yes, and” is a form of improvisation, or improv, which is something that many actors and comedians practice a lot. It is a spontaneous performance without any specific or scripted preparation. The first rule of improv is “yes, and.” It is a protocol that allows for anything to happen, and it goes like this: No matter what your fellow actors present to you, instead of negating it, belittling it, or disagreeing with it, your job is to say, “yes, and,” or basically accept the scenario as it's presented to you (regardless of where you wanted it to go), add to it, and then volley it back. So it goes back and forth. Back and forth.

“Yes” is the acknowledgment of the receipt of information, not a blind agreement with the information. “And” is the pivot point with which you accept, react to, and otherwise use/build on the idea that has been offered to you.

The key thing to note here is that this does not mean that you're agreeing. Rather, this approach is a device for understanding, creating open dialogue, and engaging in thoughtful, respectful disagreements.

This is how you get started with empathy. Empathy starts with shared values.

Let me illustrate this with an example: There are two people. One loves Cristiano Ronaldo and the other is not a fan.

Person 1:	I hate Ronaldo. I think he's too full of himself and he doesn't care about others.
Person 2:	I love that you value compassion and selflessness; I also value compassion and selflessness (this is the ...