What to Do When You're New

THREE

NATURE AND NURTUREThe Science of Newcomer Anxiety

In this chapter we will explore why new situations often make us nervous and uncomfortable. In particular, we’ll examine:

• How humans evolved to be anxious around strangers

• How children learn to fear and avoid unfamiliar people

• Why these anxieties are often counterproductive in today’s world, where interacting with strangers is commonplace and rarely dangerous

Ultimately, my goal in this chapter is to convince you that being a little anxious in new situations is normal and helpful (in future chapters we’ll figure out what to do about excessive anxiety.)

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE: OUR EXPERIENCE VERSUS OUR FEAR OF THE NEW

We spend our entire lives being new. Every time we change jobs, move ...