Chapter 10

THE CAN RESPONSE

Yes we can!

—BARACK OBAMA, CANDIDATE

 

We’ve covered a lot of ground over the previous nine chapters, and your head may be spinning just a little. How am I supposed to remember to express caring and empathy while keeping my hands visible? What signal do I send if I look up and to the right? Which portion of my CODE score should I try to bolster if I’m a man? At what grade level am I supposed to aim my messages? Should I wear a tie?

If you feel that way, it’s perfectly normal. At some point during their training, almost all the people with whom I work worry that they’ll never remember to do everything right or be able to earn a perfect CODE score. As with any skill, the ability to break through and win people over ...

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