What Works

3Who Am I without the Doing?

I was intrigued, as a child, that a bottle could also be a woman. She had a job, this woman, holding syrup. But when it was all poured out, when she was empty and her job was done, she became something else.

— Eula Biss, Having and Being Had³⁰

I USED TO love personality tests. Myers-Briggs was a bit of a hobby of mine for a while (I'm an INTP: introverted, intuitive, thinking, prospecting). I was certified to consult on the Fascination Advantage system (Maestro). I introduced my clients to the Enneagram (Type 3). I've worked with the Big Five, StrengthsFinder, and the Via Character Strengths Assessment. Give me a computer screen full of multiple-choice questions and the possibility of a new insight into who I am or what I'm about, and I'll happily click “strongly agree” or “very unlike me” all day long.

After learning that I'm autistic—which did kick off with multiple-choice assessment after assessment—I started to rethink these tests. Take a simple question from a Big Five assessment: “I don't talk a lot.” Agree, neutral, or disagree? That's a big fat “depends” for me. A big part of my work is podcasting—literally talking into a microphone a lot. But on the other hand, in a group of strangers, I will absolutely not talk unless I have to. If I'm talking about one of my revolving special interests, it's hard to shut me up. I've had to learn to look for when someone's eyes glaze over to cue me to wrap it up. But on the other hand, if I have more ...