What Your Body Says (and how to master the message): Inspire, Influence, Build Trust, and Create Lasting Business Relationships

Chapter 1. The Signals You Are Sending

What Your Body Says (and how to master the message) explains the more commonly used nonverbal gestures and signals, which are easy to remember and duplicate without looking phony or forced. The primary focus is on body gestures, eye contact, and nonverbal cues of the spoken word—such as tone, volume, speed, and breathing. The goal is to learn to recognize the nonverbal behaviors, know how to apply them, and understand how they make others feel.

You are your nonverbals; they are a direct expression of your thoughts and emotions. Yet most people don't have a clue as to what they are expressing. It's simple to know what your body is saying, once you learn the language. This requires that you:

• First, observe others. Be curious, notice how their body language makes you feel so that you understand the most likely meaning of certain movements.

• Second, keep your sense of humor while you practice the skills in this book.

You likely choose your words very carefully, and explain each detail of a product or negotiation. But how often do you forget to choose what your body is saying? During a typical 10-minute conversation, a speaker and listener each send hundreds of nonverbal messages—that's a lot of messages, all of which have the potential to convey a mixture of meanings. Look at communication holistically:

• The words you say.

• The movements you make.

• The words the other person says.

• The movements he/she makes.

Communication comprises bits of messages and meanings— ...