Work Makes Me Nervous: Overcome Anxiety and Build the Confidence to Succeed

Chapter 6. Going Deeper

Christa was heading for the kitchen to grab a snack when a television commercial grabbed her attention. Could the medicine they were advertising to treat anxiety really be the answer to her obsessive nervousness? Instead of getting some chips and a soda, she reached for the Yellow Pages.

Brian was at the end of his rope. After a year of therapy, he felt as anxious as ever. He had spent so many sessions talking about his fear of interacting one-on-one with his co-workers. But nothing had changed. If therapy didn't work, then what would?

Steve led a double life. By day, he seemed confident and capable. After hours, though, he spent most evenings at home drinking to stave off his anxiety about work. Each morning, he attended his team's Q&A meeting with trepidation. He hated being put on the spot; even when he knew the answers, he would just go blank out of fear. "There is something seriously, permanently wrong with me," he thought.

Maybe you've considered going to a therapist for your performance anxiety, but you haven't. Maybe you've actually gone to a therapist or two but have not achieved productive results. Or maybe you are simply convinced that you suffer from some serious and permanent character flaw. From my professional perspective, I've concluded that most people with performance and social anxiety do not seek therapy because they feel embarrassed and ashamed. They do not want to expose themselves—not even to a therapist. Most social anxiety sufferers ...