Work Makes Me Nervous: Overcome Anxiety and Build the Confidence to Succeed

Chapter 9. You Don't Need Nerves of Steel: You Just Need an Attitude Adjustment

Occasionally I half-seriously joke with some clients by asking them, "Would you like to know how to cure performance and social anxiety in one hour?" Want to know the answer? Here it is: Ship yourself off to a war zone. When the tanks are coming after you or you have to sidestep roadside bombs and see people being killed all around you, it's likely that you will put certain feelings like embarrassment, shame, and fear of looking stupid in a more appropriate perspective as you focus on survival. You would feel fear on the front lines. You would feel anxiety. But not because you're afraid the guy next to you will notice if you're nervous.

By now you know that eliminating anxiety is not the answer. Nor is ignoring it and wishing it will go away. We all need our anxiety. We need our stress. Without it, we cannot achieve our personal best. Do you need nerves of steel? No. Must you shift your relationship with adrenaline from one of avoidance to one of welcome? Absolutely.

Not that I am suggesting this is simple. I do not mean to diminish the severity of your anxiety at work. I know how excruciating it can be—I have heard about it thousands of times. Remember David, the Israeli army officer who said he "would rather go door to door in a combat zone than publicly speak"? I recall another client who was working as a construction manager in Iraq; he said basically the same thing. I suppose that Carol, the ovarian ...