3

Standing Up for Yourself

Assertiveness is not what you do, it’s who you are.

– Dr Cal LeMon

In this chapter you will:

  • begin to feel more self-confident
  • increase your ability to get your points across
  • discourage others from taking advantage of you

If you ever watch the Simpsons cartoon you’ll probably agree with me that the Ned Flanders character (Homer Simpson’s long-suffering neighbour) typifies a person totally lacking in assertiveness. He is always overeager to please to the extreme. Of course, like everything in cartoons he’s a caricature – an exaggeration or distortion.

But the real personality behind the character is one of an insecure person who will always try to please others because he fears not being liked. This is an easy trap ...

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