Your First Leadership Job: How Catalyst Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others

The best conversations—frequent, clear, authentic, and occasionally difficult—help colleagues feel understood, valued, trusted, and motivated.

6Leadership Is a Conversation, Part 1How to Make People Feel Heard, Valued, and Motivated

Here's the beautiful little secret^* about leadership: It's really about connecting with other human beings.

For some of you—the shy, the introverted, the impatient, or the just plain overwhelmed—this may come as an unwelcome surprise. But in fact, it's one of the best insights we can offer you. And, as we've promised throughout this book, there is real science behind having effective conversations that connect you with people in every part of your life. In fact, your success—in leadership and in life—will depend on the conversations you have with the people around you. Really.

How to Succeed by Becoming a Relationship Capitalist

In 2010, McKinsey & Company published important research that got our attention. The authors believe that the ability to master interactions between people—what we're calling conversations—has the potential to generate real competitive advantage for individuals and companies.¹ In fact, in honor of this, the authors aptly coined a new phrase—relationship capital—to describe the ability of workers at all levels to leverage their conversations.

To illustrate relationship capital in action, here's a snapshot of a typical day for Tacy:

• Make small talk with a neighbor about the construction down the road.
• Start work with ...