Your Own Terms

14Negotiating with the “Big Boys”

“Big boys” is a term that elicits a reaction. It brings up memories of competition on the playground; the power, sometimes abused, of older siblings or classmates; and the win-at-any-cost manipulations of male business moguls. The male brain is wired to be competitive, to solve problems that get in the way of winning; it is less likely to factor in emotions, long-term relationship building, or creatively crafting win-win scenarios. But some women are quite capable of engaging in this “big boy” negotiation style as well. So going forward the term “big boy” will refer to any big player, male or female, who engages in advanced (or over-the-line) power moves. Without a strong grounding in negotiation techniques, ...