And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.
— William Shakespeare As You Like It
It’s a sad fact that I won’t be able to rely on my sharply honed intellect forever. Some time in the future my wits will fade, and I’ll no longer be the sharp, erudite, humble genius I am now. So I need a pension plan, a way to make my millions so that I can live in luxury in my old age.
My original plan for world domination seemed so simple it couldn’t fail: fizzy milk! However, before I got a chance to work out the finer details of the recipe, I received devastating news: fizzy milk had already been invented. Gutted, and with the patent rights slipping through my fingers, I went back to the drawing board to come up with a new pension plan. And this time it was a good one.
This piece of genius goes back to the classic foods of my youth: custard and Alphabetti Spaghetti. I’m sure you can see where I’m going: Alphabetti custard! My initial experiments have proved promising. And almost palatable: it’s a bit like rice pudding, but wheatier. Admittedly, it’s an acquired taste, but I think it could catch on.
Too much modern software is like my Alphabetti custard: it’s the wrong thing, written the wrong way.
To make Alphabetti custard the “right” way you’d make the pasta first by hand, and hand-mix a custard. The cheating, wrong way would be to buy tins ...