Becoming a Better Programmer

Chapter 14. Software Development Is…

And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.

William Shakespeare, As You Like It

It’s a sad fact that I won’t be able to rely on my sharply honed intellect forever. Some time in the future my wits will fade, and I’ll no longer be the sharp, erudite, humble genius I am now. So I need a pension plan, a way to make my millions so that I can live in luxury in my old age.

My original plan for world domination seemed so simple it couldn’t fail: fizzy milk! However, before I got a chance to work out the finer details of the recipe, I received devastating news: fizzy milk had already been invented. Gutted, and with the patent rights slipping through my fingers, I went back to the drawing board to come up with a new pension plan. And this time it was a good one.

This piece of genius goes back to the classic foods of my youth: custard and Alphabetti Spaghetti. I’m sure you can see where I’m going: Alphabetti custard! My initial experiments have proved promising. And almost palatable: it’s a bit like rice pudding, but wheatier. Admittedly, it’s an acquired taste, but I think it could catch on.

This Software (Food)stuff

Too much modern software is like my Alphabetti custard: it’s the wrong thing, written the wrong way.

To make Alphabetti custard the “right” way you’d make the pasta first by hand, and hand-mix a custard. The cheating, wrong way would be ...