CHAPTER 9

RECEIVE (DON’T JUST LISTEN)

Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.

—ALAN ALDA

I FIRST HEARD the word receive used as a form of listening when I watched Julian Treasure’s viral TED Talk, “5 Ways to Listen Better.”1 His formula for listening is RASA, which stands for receive, appreciate, summarize, and ask. When I deliver one-or two-day Courageous Coaching workshops for leaders, I teach them this formula as a way to use a coaching approach in their leadership conversations. They do exercises to experience what fully receiving and appreciating the talker’s perspective feels like. Most admit they struggled with not jumping in to give advice, but the concept of receiving without judgment and appreciating the ...

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