How NOT to Lead

CHAPTER 1The Value of Knowing What NOT to Do

Experience is knowing what not to do and knowing when not to do it.

—Dennis Coates

Experience is the best teacher anyone will ever have. Pain is one of the best educators any person has ever met. Think about it for a second. Remember the first time you touched something hot? It probably only took once for you to learn, “If the pan is hot; I should not touch it.” Odds are, if you're like me, you were a smart‐ass kid who looked your parents directly in the face as they told you, “Don't touch that; it's hot.” And what did you and I do? We reached out with smug smiles and grabbed that hot pan. And immediately, the lesson became exponentially evident: We should listen. In the half‐second it took for the electric signal to travel from our fingertips up our arm, across our chest, up through our neck, and into our tiny childish brains, we were made aware of the truth that our parents weren't lying to us and that the pan was indeed hot. We were learning in real time that we should not do things that would cause us harm, and we were being educated to trust that those older and more experienced than us were warning us for a very good reason.

Unfortunately for me, I am hardheaded. Although I learned from the hot‐pan problem the first time, it would take a potentially life‐threatening event for me to learn that I should not ignore the cautions of those who know what they are doing and have the life experience to justify their cautions.

I'm ...