The Relationship Edge: The Key to Strategic Influence and Selling Success, Third Edition

Chapter 4. ASK THE TWENTY QUESTIONS

Once you have identified the people most important to your business success, you need to identify where exactly you think you are on the Relationship Pyramid with each. Then, if you are not at the top of their Pyramid, begin to learn what they treasure.

What do you think about him or her? What do you think he or she thinks of you? Does he or she even know your name? (If not, you know where to start.) With most of the key people in your life, you're probably somewhere in the middle of the Pyramid. They know your name, they like you, and maybe they're friendly with you.

Your goal is to be at the top with them all and to have them respect and value a relationship with you. These are the relationships that offer the most AIR: Access, Impact, and Results. But how do you move up the Pyramid to the top two levels (Figure 4.1)?

You start by systematically learning things about these people that you don't already know. You ask the right questions in the right way to learn what they treasure. You do this not as a cold-blooded, calculated tactic to worm your way into their confidence, but as a way to make a genuine connection with another human being who you hope will end up liking and trusting you. The 20 questions in this chapter are starting points. You will almost never move a relationship to the top of the Pyramid until you know something about the other person and he or she knows something about you and how you conduct yourself. Once you do begin to learn, ...