The Stewardship of Wealth: Successful Private Wealth Management for Investors and Their Advisors, + Website

The Real Way the Rich Are Different

The need to control the world around us is an instinct deeply embedded in the human soul. And a good thing it is, too; else we would all be naked and living in caves. If something is irritating us, we change it. Even if something is okay, but could be better, we change it. Wealthy families are no different from anyone else in this regard, with the singular distinction that it is far easier for the rich to buy control of their lives than it is for anyone else. And there lies the rub.

Most attempts to buy control of our world are harmless enough. A working-class family, rather than swelter through a hot, humid summer, will put a window air-conditioning unit in the parents' bedroom. A middle-class family will air condition most of the rooms that adults spend time in. An upper-middle-class family will install whole-house air-conditioning. But a wealthy family, having just purchased that charming old mansion put up in the nineteenth century, will install enough HVAC to keep all 22 rooms at a perfect 70 degrees all year round—and hang the (ridiculous) cost.

So what? The trouble comes when the habit of buying our way out of the normal irritations of life extends to buying our way out of irritations that are inextricably entwined with our happiness. Consider the three arenas of life that will largely determine whether or not we will be happy: raising children, preserving a happy marriage, and engaging in a productive work life. All three activities are ...