Book description
Hilarious advice on what NOT to do with money, from financial funny man Ben Stein
Everyone's searching for the secrets to financial success, but what about the best ways to lose money . . . fast?! In How To Really Ruin Your Financial Life and Portfolio, bestselling author, economist, financial commentator, and media personality Ben Stein explains exactly what to do . . . to go bust! The ultimate "how-NOT-to" guide, the book gives readers invaluable tips that should be avoided at all costs. Written in Stein's own inimitable style, this hilarious guide provides essential financial advice on what not to do when it comes to managing money.
From reading and acting upon investing newsletters to trading on a margin, from investing in bonds to breathlessly following CNBC, and from buying stock in firms you do not understand to believing in your own genius at stock picking to keeping as little cash on hand as possible, Stein presents the rules that every would-be investor needs to know, so they can do the exact opposite and actually make money. Fully revised and updated, this new edition presents all-new missteps that can destroy any portfolio.
Fully revised and updated edition of the tongue-in-cheek bestseller that shows investors what not to do with their money
Written by acclaimed author economist, financial commentator, and media personality Ben Stein
Loaded with indispensable pieces of bad advice that readers should avoid at all costs
A laugh-out-loud approach to personal finance, How To Really Ruin Your Financial Life and Portfolio is an accessible guide to money from the funniest man in finance.
Table of contents
- Acknowledgments
- Preface
- Introduction
- Chapter 1: Trade Frequently
- Chapter 2: Trade Foreign Exchange
- Chapter 3: Believe in Your Heart That You Can Pick Stocks
- Chapter 4: Assume That Recent Trends Will Continue Indefinitely
- Chapter 5: Pour Continuer . . . Sell When Things Look Bleak . . . and Stay the Heck Out of the Market
- Chapter 6: Know in Your Heart That This Time It’s Different . . . and Act on It
- Chapter 7: Dividends Are for Spending—Not Investing—Just Ignore Them or Use Them to Buy Baubles
- Chapter 8: Cash Is Garbage—Except When It’s Not
- Chapter 9: Put Your Money into a Hedge Fund
- Chapter 10: Try Strategies That No One Else Has Ever Thought of . . . You Can Out-Think the Market
- Chapter 11: Use the Strategies That University Endowments and the Giant Players Use
- Chapter 12: Commodities Are Calling . . . Will You Answer the Phone? Everything That Happens in Your Life Involves Commodities
- Chapter 13: Go on Margin for Everything
- Chapter 14: Sell Short
- Chapter 15: Do Not Have a Plan for Your Investing or for Your Financial Life Generally
- Chapter 16: Do It All Yourself
- Chapter 17: Pay No Attention at All to Taxes
- Chapter 18: Believe That Those People You See on TV Can Actually Tell the Future
- Chapter 19: Do Not Start Even Thinking about Any of This until the Absolutely Last Moment
- Chapter 20: Don’t Believe That Any of This Matters Very Much, This Money Stuff
-
Chapter 21–49: How to Ruin Your Greatest Asset—You
- Chapter 21: Choose a Career with No Possibility of Advancement
- Chapter 22: Choose a Career with Little Chance for a Good Income
- Chapter 23: Choose Lots of Education over Lots of Pay
- Chapter 24: Show No Respect for Your Boss or Fellow Workers
- Chapter 25: Don’t Learn Much about Your Job, Industry, or Employers . . . Just Wing It
- Chapter 26: Do the Minimum Just to Get By
- Chapter 27: Show Up in Torn Jeans, Unshaven, Unwashed, Any Old Way You Feel Like Showing Up
- Chapter 28: Show No Regard for the Truth
- Chapter 29: Display Open Contempt for Your Job, Your Fellow Workers, Your Boss, and Your Clients/Customers
- Chapter 30: Act Like You Are Morally Superior to Your Job and Your Colleagues
- Chapter 31: Do Not Be Punctual
- Chapter 32: Don’t Hesitate to Have a Cocktail or Two at Lunch
- Chapter 33: Gossip and Sow Divisiveness at Work
- Chapter 34: Second-Guess Everyone around You at Work, Especially Your Boss
- Chapter 35: Threaten Your Boss and Employer with Litigation
- Chapter 36: Look for Grievances at Work
- Chapter 37: Make Sexual Advances to Anyone You Find Attractive
- Chapter 38: Make Excessive Phone Calls, Texts, and E-Mails on Company Time
- Chapter 39: Play Video Games at Work and Make Loud Noises as You Do
- Chapter 40: Make and Keep Lots of Personal Appointments on Company Time
- Chapter 41: Listen to Your Colleagues’ Conversations and Snoop on Their E-Mails
- Chapter 42: Talk about How Much Better Earlier Employers Were Than Your Current Employer
- Chapter 43: Brag about Your Great Family Connections
- Chapter 44: Pad Your Expense Account
- Chapter 45: Borrow Money from Your Fellow Employees and Don’t Pay It Back
- Chapter 46: Question, Mock, and Belittle Your Tasks
- Chapter 47: Flirt with Your Colleagues’ Significant Others
- Chapter 48: Proselytize at Work and Belittle Anyone Who Doesn’t Share Your Political or Religious Beliefs
- Chapter 49: Say Anything You Want That Comes into Your Head
- About the Author
- End User License Agreement
Product information
- Title: How To Really Ruin Your Financial Life and Portfolio
- Author(s):
- Release date: October 2012
- Publisher(s): Wiley
- ISBN: 9781118338735
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