Just Listen

Table of Contents

1. Cover Page
2. Title Page
3. Copyright Page
4. Contents
5. Foreword
6. Acknowledgments
7. SECTION I The Secret to Reaching Anyone
   1. 1 Who’S Holding You Hostage?
      1. The Persuasion Cycle
      2. The Secret: Getting Through Is Simple
   2. 2 A Little Science: How the Brain Goes From “No” To “Yes”
      1. The Three-Part Brain
      2. Amygdala Hijack and the Death of Rational Thought
      3. Mirror Neurons
      4. From Theory to Action
8. SECTION II The Nine Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone
   1. 3 Move Yourself From “Oh F#@& To Ok”
      1. Get Through to Yourself First 28
      2. Speed Is Everything
      3. The “Oh F#@& to OK” Process
      4. The Power of “Oh F#@&”
      5. The “Oh F#@& to OK” Speed Drill
   2. 4 REWIRE YOURSELF TO LISTEN
      1. “But I Do Listen . . . Don’t I?”
      2. How Well Do You Know the People You Know?
   3. 5 MAKE THE OTHER PERSON FEEL “FELT”
      1. Why Does “Feeling Felt” Change People?
      2. The Steps to Making Another Person Feel “Felt”
   4. 6 BE MORE INTERESTED THAN INTERESTING
      1. The “Interesting” Jackass
      2. Don’t Just Act Interested—Be Interested
   5. 7 MAKE PEOPLE FEEL VALUABLE
   6. 8 HELP PEOPLE TO EXHALE EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY
      1. Moving a Person Away from Distress
      2. Guiding a Person to Exhale
   7. 9 CHECK YOUR DISSONANCE AT THE DOOR
      1. The Perils of Corporate Dissonance
      2. When You Can’t Avoid Dissonance, Anticipate It
   8. 10 WHEN ALL SEEMS LOST—BARE YOUR NECK
      1. Show Them Your Neck, and They’ll Want to Show You Theirs
   9. 11 STEER CLEAR OF TOXIC PEOPLE
      1. Needy People
      2. Bullies
      3. Takers
      4. Narcissists
      5. Psychopaths
      6. Mirror Check: Who’s the Problem?
9. SECTION III 12 Quick and Easy Ways to Achieve Buy-In and Get Through
   1. 12 THE IMPOSSIBILITY QUESTION
   2. 13 THE MAGIC PARADOX
      1. The Cascade of “Yes”
      2. A Trust-Gaining Move
   3. 14 THE EMPATHY JOLT
      1. HOW It Works
      2. When to Employ the Empathy Jolt
      3. The Power of Analogy
   4. 15 THE REVERSE PLAY, EMPATHY JOLT #2
   5. 16 ”DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?”
   6. 17 THE POWER OF “HMMM . . .”
   7. 18 THE STIPULATION GAMBIT
   8. 19 FROM TRANSACTION TO TRANSFORMATION
      1. Negotiating Versus Relating
      2. What Question Would Make You Look Up?
   9. 20 SIDE BY SIDE
   10. 21 FILL IN THE BLANKS
   11. 22 TAKE IT ALL THE WAY TO “NO”
   12. 23 THE POWER THANK YOU AND POWER APOLOGY
       1. “Thank You” Versus the Power Thank You
       2. The Power Apology
10. SECTION IV PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: FAST FIXES FOR SEVEN CHALLENGING SITUATIONS
    1. 24 THE TEAM FROM HELL
    2. 25 CLIMBING THE LADDER
    3. 26 THE NARCISSIST AT THE TABLE
    4. 27 STRANGER IN TOWN
       1. The Visibility Stage
       2. The Credibility Stage
       3. The Profitability Stage
    5. 28 THE HUMAN EXPLOSION
    6. 29 GETTING THROUGH TO YOURSELF
    7. 30 SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION
       1. Create One-on-One Situations
       2. Make Virtual Allies
       3. Reach the Gatekeepers
11. Afterword
12. Index
13. About the Author
14. Keynotes/Workshops