Leading on the Frontline

24Know when to leave

How I was torn between staying and leaving Pakistan in the midst of terrorism

In the two years I lived and worked in Pakistan I saw the havoc wreaked by numerous suicide bombers. Some cities, like Karachi, were almost completely out of bounds. I was based in Islamabad, which was slightly safer, but anxiety about terrorist attacks still peppered our conversation. Even charity workers were at risk. Rumour had it that many of them were CIA operatives. Some undoubtedly were; they usually stood out a mile in their perfectly pressed shalwar kameez. In some people’s minds, we were all potential spies, so every aid worker’s life was in danger.

Embassies pared down their staff and sent the families of their employees home. They had set up a useful warning system. Whenever there was a gunman or bomber on the loose, or even word of a protest, we were alerted immediately by text message. Every day we were sent messages to be vigilant, with reminders to avoid shopping centres, mosques, restaurants, hotels or the diplomatic enclave where the embassies were situated. Living in a state of high alert was new to me, but I swiftly learned to sense the mood, to feel an atmosphere, to sense potential danger. We clutched our mobile phones everywhere we went, anticipating the worst.

Then, on 22 September 2008, the Marriott Hotel was bombed.

It was the final straw for many of us. The hotel had been thought to be impregnable, its security second to none. In the hotel’s plush interior ...