No One Ever Told Us That: Money and Life Lessons for Young Adults

CHAPTER TWELVE

DO YOUR HOMEWORK

A young woman came to see me recently, a development (money-raising) person, delegated to making the case for me to make a gift to the nonprofit she represented. I was on the board of the organization and had been for some time. She went right into her pitch, extolling the virtues of the nonprofit's mission and the people it served.

“Do you have a clue into anything about me?” I asked. “Assume nothing when you're asking strangers for money. Who am I and what do I care about in life?”

“Well,” she said, surprised by my opening salvo. “You've been on the board and generous over the years.”

I find that being a surprise to people almost always sucks them into knowing that this is not the usual interview and that perhaps we can both learn something. It's good also to temper what could be seen as a hostile opening with something softer and encouraging.

“Tell me a little bit about yourself,” I said. We all love to talk about ourselves. It's partly why therapies of all kinds are a national sport in America.

The young woman smiled and was off to the races, happy to be chatting about her background, schools, and hobbies.

When she was done, I told her what I was going to pledge to her organization. “But in the future,” I told her, after spinning a few stories about my own life and interests, “do your homework about the people you're scheduled to meet, before you see them.” Google is a good start, or a coworker who may know the character you're seeing. Particularly ...