Product Management in Practice, 2nd Edition

Chapter 5. Working with Senior Stakeholders (or, Throwing the Poker Game)

The first time my dad met his future father-in-law, he was invited to join in for a friendly game of after-dinner poker. My dad, much like myself, is not somebody who has generally excelled at competitive rituals associated with male bonding. He also, much like myself, is not very good at cards. However, in this particular situation, he wasn’t too concerned about his skill level. My dad’s goal was not to win the poker game, but rather to make sure that his potential future father-in-law won the poker game. From what both of my parents have told me, this worked quite well.

I’ve thought about this story many times during my career as a product manager, especially when I’ve found myself sitting in meetings with people who have much more organizational authority than I do. In most high-stakes meetings—as in some high-stakes poker games—“winning” doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing to everybody at the table. And when you are working with senior stakeholders, the best way to “win” is often to help somebody else win.

For better or worse, senior stakeholders often have access to important high-level information about the business that you simply do not. Based on this information, they might override your priorities or shift those priorities when you’re midway through a project. They might even wield the bludgeon of “because I said so” if they can’t reveal the sensitive details of conversations that are playing ...