Product Management in Practice

Chapter 6. Working with Senior Stakeholders (Or, Throwing the Poker Game)

The first time my dad met his future father-in-law, he was invited to join in for a friendly game of after-dinner poker. My dad, much like myself, is not somebody who has generally excelled at competitive rituals associated with male bonding. He also, much like myself, is not very good at cards. However, in this particular situation, he wasn’t too concerned about his skill level. My dad’s goal was not to win the poker game, but rather to make sure that his potential future father-in-law won the poker game. From what both of my parents have told me, this worked quite well.

I’ve thought about this story many times during my career as a product manager, especially when I’ve found myself sitting in meetings with people who have much more organizational authority than I do. In most high-stakes meetings—as in some high-stakes poker games—“winning” doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing to everybody at the table. And when you are working with senior stakeholders, the best way to “win” is often to help somebody else win.

In theory, working with senior stakeholders should be no different from working with anybody else in an organization. In practice, this is rarely the case. For better or worse, senior stakeholders often wield the power of “because I said so.” They can override your priorities. They can shift goalposts when you’re midway through a project. Or, they can shift goalposts after you’ve finished a ...