Tame the Primitive Brain: 28 Ways in 28 Days to Manage the Most Impulsive Behaviors at Work

Day 18

Tension

Autonomy versus Belonging

Ich hab’ noch einen Koffer in Berlin

—Marlene Dietrich

Today you’ll tame:

• Sociopathic tendencies

Jane was irate. She had not been invited to the project meeting. It reminded her that this kind of thing had happened to her at her last company, too.

The reality was that there was no real need for her to be at the meeting, and her colleagues didn’t want to waste her time. They knew she often was frustrated, complaining how busy and overrun with work she was. They didn’t want to bother her.

Now, however, she was complaining loudly and aggressively to management about being sidelined on this project. She claimed the work would suffer without her insight and input.

Jane’s “fit” prompted management to send an e-mail to the team leader, Robin, to the effect that Jane was upset, and that she, and they, blamed him for putting her in this mood, by excluding her from the group. Robin, in turn, sent a message to Jane—and copied the rest of the team—apologizing unreservedly for his oversight. He ended by including an invite to the next meeting, along with an agenda that listed Jane’s input right at the top, as the first item.

The day of the meeting came around, and the group waited 10 minutes for Jane to arrive to kick it off, since she was first on the agenda.

She was a no-show.

Almost an hour later, they finally received a message from her that she was too busy to attend, and that their project was not a priority for her right now, as she had, that ...