Diversity and Inclusion Matters

Chapter 14Inclusion Practices

Don't Ask Me to Organize the Davids

In the process of meeting new people and becoming familiar with coworkers at a previous employer, I met Dave. Dave told me, “Remember I am the only Dave. There are two or more Davids, but I am the only Dave.”

Wherever you work, everyone seems to know there are several Davids but one Dave. Why is this important? It isn't, unless your name is Dave (or David). This seems complicated when I write it out, but I have found that everyone knows the Davids from the Daves. Everyone has memorized who goes by David and who goes by Dave. I have found they also know Steve from Steven, or Beth from Liz. In fact, I realized that for my entire life, in every workplace or school, people will remember who prefers to be called David or Dave. If you happen to refer to Suzy as Suzanne, she will remind you that her name is Suzy – and generally no one is offended. Most importantly, no one wants a rule that every David go by Dave. It goes without saying that asking every David in the world to go by Dave would be ridiculous.

Over my years working in diversity, equity, and inclusion (DE&I), I have found that people often want a rule. They want to know: “What are the right words to say?” or “What can I say?” They want it to be simple.

Is it Black or African American? Is it Latino or Latinx? For years I have tried to answer this question: “What are the DE&I rules?” or “What can I say and not offend anyone?” I have colleagues who have written ...