Management In A Changing World

CHAPTER 7GIVING FEEDBACK AND EVALUATING PERFORMANCE

One day Monna was at brunch when she received a call from Lily, someone she had supervised as the executive director at Lavender Phoenix. They'd only been in touch a few times in the seven years since they'd worked together. Monna answered, expecting to hear the tell‐tale rustling sounds of a butt dial. “Hello?”

“Hi! I'm just calling to thank you for some feedback you gave me once,” said Lily. She reminded Monna what happened years ago: Lavender Phoenix was hosting a community event, and Lily was staffing it. Lily arrived in a visibly horrible mood after a difficult interaction with her sibling. She was short with her fellow interns and community members. She exuded grumpiness. Monna pulled Lily aside and said, “Hey, I think you're upset about something. I don't think you're trying to be hurtful, but I see you taking it out on people who care about you—and that's not okay.”

When Lily finished, Monna thanked her and then asked, “Why was this moment so meaningful for you?” Lily replied: “Up until my internship, I had never received critical feedback that was direct and kind. I was used to people being passive‐aggressive—or just plain aggressive—or not saying anything and letting resentments build up. In my household growing up, every little mistake was construed as a character flaw, so I'm sensitive to criticism. I didn't feel like your feedback was personal because you made it about the impact of my behavior, not my personality. ...