The Manager's Handbook

13Five Questions

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.

—Russian proverb

A few years ago, I was in a meeting seated next to Joe Deitch where I learned an important lesson about listening. Joe started Commonwealth Financial Network; with more than $250 billion of assets under management, it is the largest privately owned, independent registered investment advisory and broker‐dealer in the country. He's also the founder of the Elevate Prize, which provides critical training and resources to some of the world's most promising social entrepreneurs. In the meeting, someone made a controversial comment about a political subject. Most of us found the comment ludicrous; some openly challenged the person.

Afterward, while Joe and I were waiting for our cars, I asked him what he thought of the comment. In a soft, philosophical tone, he said, “I found it fascinating.” He clarified that he wasn't persuaded by the person's views. But since there was no chance he'd change their position, he was only interested in understanding why that person held that view, as well as why others reacted so strongly. I found it fascinating was the consequence of Joe's perpetual sense of curiosity, and his reluctance to spend energy unnecessarily persuading others of his views.

Listen like Joe is the first essential step to seeking and taking advice. Just like many of us are with our political opinions, we waste energy trying to convince people of our own position, and generally over‐index ...