The Software Developer's Career Handbook

Chapter 38. The Screw-Me Scenario

It had all the signs of a good meeting. And I hate meetings. We were:

• Talking about a product we loved

• In great shape from a feature, quality, and schedule standpoint

• A group that historically did not kick ass

• A group that was kicking ass

The slides looked great, and the dry run was flawless, so why hadn’t I slept in two nights?

I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t see the Screw-Me.

You Might Be Lying

There are endless variants of meetings, but the one I want to talk about is the executive cross-pollination communication disaster. The point of this meeting is alignment. You’ve likely got several groups who don’t usually spend much time together. You’ve forced them to sit in the same room so the execs can compare stories, measure reality, and figure out who is lying.

Before I explain how to get your head around this meeting, I want to talk about the intent behind this meeting. Intent starts with a question: Why does this meeting exist? If you’re responsible for the presentation in this particular meeting, it exists because someone hates you.

It’s not personal hate. It’s professional hate, and it’s exacerbated by a simple fact of organization: different groups speak different languages. Marketing speaks marketing, Legal speaks legal, and Engineering speaks engineering. There’s a fundamental communication breakdown somewhere in the building, and someone feels wronged. They’re feeling bullied, and since they don’t speak your dialect, they’re ...