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CHAPTER 3MAKING MORE MONEY:Accepting No, Getting to Yes

Whenever I give a speech, I know there’s one sure way to get everyone’s attention: talk about money. I’ll ask, “How many of you think you are underpaid or overpaid? Can we have a show of hands, please?” I’ve yet to see anyone raise their hand for being overpaid.

And yet very rarely do people do anything about it. There is a stigma—a massive corporate taboo—around asking for more money. I get it, the “money conversation” is downright awkward. Money is a high-anxiety topic everyone hates; it’s emotionally charged. In relationships, money is one of the main reasons couples fight, more than in-laws or who should take the garbage out. In the workplace, it’s just as problematic. No one knows how to engage in the money conversation. First, most people try an indirect approach. It always starts out the same way: “It’s not really about the money …” Really? Of course it’s about the money! But people are so uncomfortable talking about money that they’d rather avoid discussing it directly.

Or when people do ask for a raise, the way they go about it makes you wonder if they really want it—or whether they’ve thought about a raise strategy. Seriously, it’s sad how many folks work so hard to actually deserve a raise, then totally blow the way they go about asking for it. Many will just blurt it out during a meeting with a manager or ...