CHAPTER 8
LET GO OF THE FUTURE
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
—LAO TZU
When my parents died, a piece of my future died too. While they hadn’t pressured me to follow a particular career, they did have high hopes and dreams for me. Were those hopes and dreams still alive without them? Were they the right hopes and dreams for me, and how should I know?
Once the initial shock wore off, I began having frequent nightmares and panic attacks. My nocturnal psyche would convince itself that my parents were alive and well, and recent experiences were but a bad dream. Then I would awake and relive my sister’s phone call all over again. Panic, anxiety, disbelief. Wash, rinse, repeat.
After a while, I began not dreaming at all. This ...
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