3Getting in the Right State
“Clearly she was expected to say something, but panic at having to speak stole the thoughts from her head.”
– Shannon Hale, The Goose Girl
When a conversation is going well, you are absorbing a lot of information with a lively awareness of the other person and are busy thinking on your feet. Both of you are carrying on a silent conversation with yourself as well as a spoken one with the other person. This is fine and enjoyable if you're feeling at ease. If you are not feeling at ease, however, it's not so good. Techniques are useful and a good starting place for improving your conversational skills but they do not address most people's chief problem in holding a conversation – and that is tension, awkwardness, lack ...
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