8. 99 per cent of people are good …

… so please don’t treat me like the other 1 per cent.

Here’s the deal. I’m shopping. Not my favourite pastime: in fact I’m one of those people who loves the idea of getting all my clothes for the year in one fell swoop. Nothing pleases me more than to find an item of clothing that fits well and looks good, then ordering exactly the same in black, blue, brown, grey and six other colours in between.

On a recent excursion to a very well-known store, I had a bundle of stuff that I wanted to try on and I arrived at the changing rooms. The ever-so-efficient assistant announced, ‘You can only take a maximum five items into the changing rooms.’ Of course ...

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