Whole Leaders, Wild Trust

CHAPTER 10Composed: Stay Anchored in the Storm

A whole and trusted leader is composed under pressure, anchored in the storm, and connected to the needs and convictions of others.

There are at least two kinds of people who are nearly impossible to trust—those overly focused on themselves at the expense of understanding others, and those overly focused on others at the expense of themselves. The first group is difficult to trust because they don’t see us; they make decisions and react solely based on their own convictions. The second group is hard to trust because they choose keeping others happy over being forthright and direct. To become the whole and trusted leaders the world needs, we must recognize our own tendencies and take intentional steps to be both clear about our positions and connected to others’ wants and needs. If your focus is on being liked, you will never get the results necessary for people to trust you. If your focus is on being right, you will never get the results necessary for people to trust you. Different problems with the same result.

What would change for you—and for the people around you—if you could be a better version of yourself when conflict, pressure, and change come? If you spoke more clearly and listened more effectively? Whether it’s a conversation with a loved one or a high-stakes moment at work, what difference would it make to be more composed, convicted, and clear?

One thing built into our wiring as human beings is the deep connection ...