pgBouncer
The PostgreSQL connection pooler with the highest proven performance in the field is pgBouncer, a project originating as part of the database scaling work done by Skype: http://pgfoundry.org/projects/pgbouncer/.
Designed to be nothing but a high-performance connection pooler, it excels at solving that particular problem. pgBouncer runs as a single process, not spawning a process per connection. The underlying architecture, which relies on a low-level UNIX library named libevent, was already proven for this purpose in the field; the memcached program uses the same approach. The internal queue management for waiting connections is configurable, so it's easy to avoid timeouts.
And when the time comes to monitor the pool itself, it ...
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