A Day in the Life of a Senior Leader

Chapter 8. The Seven Conversation Hacks

Conversations go sideways. Meetings have uncomfortable silences. Whether it’s one or many, you need tools to grab people’s attention, focus the conversation, or just move the meeting along:

Say someone’s name if you think they aren’t listening.

In a meeting with five or more humans, it’s OK if someone checks out during part of the conversation. Not every topic is of equal interest to everyone. When you know the conversation is steering back to a human who isn’t listening, say their name.

Repeat the hard part when you don’t understand.

Or, repeat the last thing the other person said and add a question mark. Ask questions to get more clarity.

Pause if you need time to think.

Let the conversation breathe.

Move your line of sight below theirs.

Hunch over a bit. This changes the sense of who is in charge of the conversation. I learned this subtle move from Impro: Improvisation and the Theatre by Keith Johnstone (Routledge), a fascinating book about improv. We, as humans, react to the relative position of another’s gaze. Higher, they are driving. Lower, they are receiving.

Look people in the eye if you think your point isn’t landing.

Or if it’s important to them. Repeat the point. Once. A variant of saying their name, except in this scenario you have their attention but it’s unclear if they understand.

Stop talking.

Ask people what they think. Or slow your cadence. I get on a roll often, conversationally, and what feels like a delicious ...