Harvard Business Review Everyday Emotional Intelligence
by Harvard Business Review, Daniel Goleman, Richard E. Boyatzis, Annie McKee, Sydney Finkelstein
CHAPTER 7
Defuse a Challenging Interaction
CONFLICTS STIR UP MANY EMOTIONS, especially negative thoughts and feelings. To successfully manage these disagreements in the moment, you need to address your own emotions as well as those of the other person.
Reframe Negative Thoughts
During difficult interactions, you may begin to question your perceptions about yourself. For example, suppose a direct report says, “I didn’t attend the meeting because I didn’t think you valued my ideas.” In response, you wonder to yourself, “Maybe I’m not a competent manager after all.”
For many people, the sense that their self-image is being challenged creates intense emotions. These feelings can become overwhelming, making it virtually impossible to converse productively ...
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