Soup: A Recipe to Nourish Your Team and Culture

Chapter 31. Rules Without Relationship Lead to Rebellion

"When I think about what Grandma just said," Peter added, "I think of Andy Stanley's quote. He said that 'rules without relationship lead to rebellion.' So many managers focus on the rules they want their people to follow, but without relationships, people are not motivated to follow them."

Nancy interjected, "It's the same with coaching. My father was a coach, and he always told me that the key to his success was that he took the time to get to know his players and develop a relationship with them. He had a lot of rules, but the players loved him, so they followed them."

"It's the same with parenting," Grandma added. "When you take the time to be with your kids and grandkids," she said as she put her arm around Peter, "and nurture your relationship with them, they are much less likely to rebel against the rules you have set forth." Peter then wrote on the napkin again for Nancy and Grandma to see:

"That's wonderful Peter," Grandma affirmed warmly. "I would also add to that and say that all transformation requires a relationship. We are transformed through our spiritual relationship with God and our relationship with family, mentors, and coaches, and we transform others through our relationships with them. Only through relationships can we transform and be transformed."