Leading With Emotional Courage

CHAPTER 15STAY CURIOUS ABOUT OTHERS: PEOPLE CAN'T BE SUMMED UP BY PERSONALITY TESTS

When we were in college, Eleanor, who was my girlfriend at the time, wanted me to take a personality assessment that would categorize me into one of 16 boxes, each box containing four letters that would explain me.

I didn't want to do it.

So she made it easy for me. “Come on, it'll be fun,” she said. “I'll read the questions. You just lie there and answer. I'll write down your answers.”

She began asking me questions, “Do you prefer to be with a group of people, or to be one-on-one?”

“I'd rather be one-on-one,” I answered confidently.

“No way!” she replied, “You love being the center of attention. I'm checking a big YES.”

She must have changed at least half my answers. I'm not saying she was wrong. Most of the time, I think we were both right.

By definition, personality assessments simplify complexity. That's not always a bad thing; putting a label on something helps us recognize it quickly. It's shorthand. And, given that most of us have more to do than we have time for, shorthand is useful.

But not with people. People are not easy to understand, and – here's where I disagree with the assessments – they shouldn't be.

People are too interesting and too complicated to be summed up in a simple assessment. Are there really only 16 basic personality types? Have you met my uncle Ralph? There are at least 17.

I would argue that no personality assessment is valid or reliable. These tests identify a ...