Rebooting Your Brain

CHAPTER 17Super Myth: Feedback Can Be Negative

Are you a good person or a bad person?

This seemingly simplistic question was asked of me more than 30 years ago by my mentor, Joe Gianni. Without much reflection, I answered, “A good person.”

At the time I didn't really understand the ramifications or ripple effect of my response. In fact, it has taken more than three decades to really wrap my head around it.

Now, I want to ask you that same question: “Are you a good person or a bad person?”

Take a moment and really ponder that question. Think about it before you just give an offhanded response.

Certainly you've made mistakes in your life; you've said and done things you regret (we all have; it's okay, that's part of being human; we are all inherently flawed and make mistakes). However, do your past mistakes make you a fundamentally bad person? At your core, are you a good person or a bad person?

Likely you aren't some evil‐doer, criminal mastermind, or a serial killer (and if you are, you certainly need a brain reboot—so keep reading). For most of us, at our core we are good people. Yes, we are flawed, carry emotional baggage, and sometimes do stupid things, but deep down, we are still a good person.

Go ahead, say it out loud, “I am a good person.” Go ahead, say it again. It feels good to say it, doesn't it? This is probably a good thing to remind yourself of now and again.

Why it is so important to consciously make this determination?

Well, have you ever made a mistake and ...