The Negotiation Book: Your Definitive Guide To Successful Negotiating

6.4. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

If there is one critical competency central to effective negotiation, I would suggest it is 'emotional intelligence'. It underpins the balance of communication between you and those you negotiate with, and promotes the concept of negotiating from inside their head.

In his 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman describes how emotional intelligence is made up of two parts. He claims that to be effective in business, you need to have a high level of self-awareness and self-control around your emotions and those of the other party.

• Firstly, by understanding yourself, your intentions, your responses and your own behaviour.

• Secondly, by understanding others and their feelings.

This is critical in negotiations because you are responsible for the feelings of those you negotiate with. Antagonise the other party and watch any hope of cooperation dissolve. Goleman goes on to describe the five 'domains' of emotional intelligence:

1. Knowing our emotions.

2. Managing your own emotions.

3. Motivating yourself.

4. Recognising and understanding other people's emotions.

5. Managing relationships and the emotions of others.

Extroverts, who tend to be more communicative, tend to be more openly emotional people. They are more inclined to share and articulate their views, likes and dislikes. However, extroverts are faced with a greater challenge because the control required during a negotiation involves a greater level of self-discipline than it does with introverts, who are naturally ...