The Negotiation Book: Your Definitive Guide To Successful Negotiating

4.10. 10. HUMILITY:

It is people who make agreements and humility which breeds respect

Exercising diplomacy and empathy during negotiations to help manage the appropriate climate sounds like common sense. However, with the tensions that exist in negotiations, it's humility that often serves to bring discussions to an adult level, cutting through the tactics and gamesmanship in play. Humility removes the need for ego to feature and helps us to demonstrate our intention of working with the other party, rather than against them, to create a mutually beneficial relationship. Reciprocity ensures that if one party becomes competitive, the other party will mirror this behaviour and, as a result, both will find themselves being drawn into arguments that become counterproductive. It is the Complete Skilled Negotiator's humility which will allow the other party to 'win' the argument as they concentrate on the climate and the total value of the deal.

Ultimately, it is not you who is important; it is what is best for the relationship and for the agreement. It's not about competing or about how you feel. Humility requires the removal of personal considerations other than the need to maintain mutual respect with your focus on the agreement. The skills associated with managing climate are well documented under behaviours later in the next chapter. Humility is what sits beneath the behaviour. It is a trait which allows you as a negotiator to focus on the quality of the agreement rather than being ...