The Negotiation Book: Your Definitive Guide To Successful Negotiating

6.5. THE ART OF LOSING

Negotiation is about the art of losing, or the art of letting others have your way. With your ego out of the way, and your attitude firmly focused on the outcome of the agreement, you are free to behave in any way you believe to be appropriate to your interests. Being what you need to be and doing what you need to do includes allowing the other party to enjoy the 'symbols of success' whilst you focus on the total value of the agreement. This means understanding others and their needs and then trading off no more than you need to in order to optimise your net position. It means letting them win on items of less significance whilst you focus on the more significant, value-adding variables. You could argue that you cannot afford to set precedents by allowing them to win the psychological battle even on some issues (depending on whether there is an ongoing trading relationship or not), or that if you concede on certain issues they will expect this in the future. However, your mindset as a negotiator also requires you to help the other party to feel as though they have won.

CASE STUDY Imagine a new customer or supplier with whom you have built an understanding over a number of meetings. You have invested time working through the specification of the deal, agreed on how your relationship will work, agreed the service agreement and a continuous improvement programme. They have had your proposal for some time, so they are clearly aware of your fee structure, which ...