Me First

Mistake #13I don’t have time for me

Mums birth the babies, and as such we face a millennia of both biological and societal pressures to nurture our children and to put their needs first. Someone has to do it, right?

Until the 1960s it was relatively common for western countries to have a marriage bar, whereby women were required to resign from their employment when they married. Regardless of the rationale or fairness of the bar, one outcome was that those women who could (and chose to) have children, could devote their time — full time — to being mothers and carers for their family.

But, happily, times have changed. We are no longer required to forego a career in order to catch a husband. How blessed we are.

And yet, as a woman who is a mum and who also works, I cannot help but regard that woman of the pre-1960s with some degree of envy. Not because I don’t want to work — trust me, I do. But simply because what that woman had that we do not, was the ability to look forward to and to enjoy some guilt-free time for herself. Because at some point in time she knew her children would go to sleep, or go to pre-school, or go to kinder, or go to school, or go to high school, or go to university, or go to work, and she could have some time to, and for, herself.

But what of women who juggle motherhood and paid employment? When is our down time? When do we ever switch off?

We can celebrate the human rights, women’s rights and notions of equality that have advanced us significantly ...