Rules of Life, The, 4th Edition

RULE 59

Allow^* your partner the space to be themselves

It’s a funny old thing but we often fall in love with someone because they are independent, forceful, powerful, in charge, in control and very much out in the world. Then, the second we’ve captured them, so to speak, we try to change them. We come over all jealous if they carry on being as independent; as if being in a relationship with us somehow limits them, ties them down, cuts their wings off.

Before we met them, they managed quite well without us. The second we meet them, we start giving them advice, restricting their choices, limiting their vision and dreams, curtailing their freedom. We need to stand back and give them the freedom to be themselves.

A lot of people say that the magic ...