Rules of Life, The, 4th Edition

RULE 90

What’s in it for them?

We all want to win. At work and in most aspects of life, winning is good, and we don’t like to lose. No one sets out to be a loser. But we do tend to think that if we are going to win then someone else, someone around us, has to lose. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

In every situation, the smart Rules Player weighs up the circumstances and asks: ‘What’s in it for them?’ If you know what’s motivating the other person, you can help steer the situation (and your actions) so you get what you want, but they feel they’ve got something out of it too. The ‘win-win’ mentality might have come out of the workplace, but it applies to pretty much every situation and relationship.

To work out what others are likely to want ...